A Lesson.
Today I went into a meeting with a higher up to discuss my future and my personal goals regarding my profession. What I thought would be a wonderful opportunity to talk about growth became a lesson in everything wrong I have ever done.
Every dumb thing you do drunk, you will regret it ten fold if you ever have the opportunity to get sober. People do not forget. If you fuck up, they will not forget it. Some people won’t see your change, they will only view you as the drunk you once *proudly* proclaimed to be. It’s a fucking hard lesson in humility.
It doesn’t matter that for 2 years I have shown up and pitched in. No, what’s made a lasting impression is the 2 years I phoned it in, came in late, drank at events, and acted like a total mess.
Everything you do matters. People notice this shit. Make every second count because cleaning up the wreckage is not fun. It’s painful, it involves a lot of self-loathing, a huge amount of remorse, tears over lost friendships, painful painful realizations about yourself, and showing up and making an amends.
I might have to out myself and make a 9th step amends on this one. I am cautiously thinking it over, but I really don’t want this hanging over my head any longer.
So before you go out and tear it up, think very clearly about what you might be tearing down.
