For my annual thanksgiving this year, we are gonna get a christmas tree. And I had this idea that everyone who comes will make an ornament to put on it. Now I know where I am going to get everything I need!
Who’s going to know?
—
You know, they never actually check that shit and when they do, you say, “oh god, I didn’t realize!” and pay the difference. Sometimes I buy the senior citizen tickets at the kiosk.
I feel like they could write a book on this subject and I would buy it! Very cool.

Kitty waits patiently for me to finish my bowl of cereal so she can have the leftover milk.
Awwwww, I love Nala. (This is also the cat I almost killed on Labor Day weekend. She took a dog treat out of my hand and choked for about 5 minutes! I am a bad bad cat whisperer!!!!)
I didn't have to be Mayor to get a free drink at Destination.
Last night, during the last 20 minutes of the yankees game, I got locked in the bathroom at Destination. I called everyone I knew and no one would answer their phones!
So I started banging on the door and calling out to people, but everyone was watching the game. Finally, someone heard me and Josh the bartender came and tried to get me out.
The whole thing was pretty hilarious and hopefully they fixed the door.
Do Yankees fans exist?
I must have seen hundreds of people while riding the subway and catching the train to Grand Central. Many of them were wearing hats. Here’s what I saw: - 2 Yankees hats - 1 Mets hat - 1 Cleveland Indians hat - 2 Red Sox hats (my own excluded) - 1 Red Sox 2007 World Champions hat Hats aside, I saw ONE guy wearing a Yankees jacket. For a team that claims to have lots of “true fans,” I’m finding it hard to believe when you can’t even tell the day after you win the freaking World Series.
Would you like some cheese with your w(h)ine?
‘Daily Show’ Asks Which City Has Douchier Fans: New York Or Philly? (VIDEO)
Awesome.
I don’t even follow fútbol americano, but this segment was hilarious!
The more you know...(about tetanus)
So I cleaved the tip of my thumb with a guillotine-style paper cutter (see here):
The instrument being metal, my first thought after controlling the bleeding went to tetanus. I’m pretty sure I’m up on my vaccinations, but when I thought about the association of tetanus with rust and metal (think of how many times you were warned as a kid to avoid “rusty nails” because of their risk of tetanus), I became curiously skeptical. I know you receive vaccinations for tetanus, and as far as I know (please correct me if I’m wrong) vaccines only work to prevent or cure diseases caused by biological pathogens (i.e. viruses and bacteria and not elemental or compound toxins like lead or cyanide). It then struck me as odd that a particular bacteria (ruled out virus as it doesn’t fit the profile) would adhere particularly to oxidized materials (rust). So, Wikipedia has dispelled the myth for me:
“Tetanus is often associated with rust, especially rusty nails, but this concept is somewhat misleading. Objects that accumulate rust are often found outdoors, or in places that harbor anaerobic bacteria, but the rust itself does not cause tetanus nor does it contain more C. tetani bacteria. The rough surface of rusty metal merely provides a prime habitat for a C. tetani endospore to reside, and the nail affords a means to puncture skin and deliver endospore into the wound. An endospore is a non-metabolising survival structure that begins to metabolise and cause infection once in an adequate environment. Because C. tetani is an anaerobic bacterium, it and its endospores survive well in an environment that lacks oxygen. Hence, stepping on a nail (rusty or not) may result in a tetanus infection, as the low-oxygen (anaerobic) environment is provided by the same object which causes a puncture wound, delivering endospores to a suitable environment for growth.”
So there you have it. Maybe you all already knew this, but I found it interesting…
Also re: my doctor….tetanus shots are only preventative, it’s worthless to get them after.

I totally forgot about the unexpected free condom giveaway on Halloween.
(Ahem. You’re welcome!)
I always give away rubbers and lube at parties. Remember, kids - no glove, no love.
It was recently pointed out to me that those condoms are on the “small side” and uncomfortable to wear. Any chance we can get some NYC magnum condoms??
Robert Pattinson
December 2009 Vanity Fair Outtakes
Photograph by: Bruce Weber
Hey! Isn’t that Montauk?!?!?!? It would make sense, that’s where Bruce Weber resides (right near Ditch Plains!).


